Down a river in a big rubber tube

August 19th

The pink ladies.

Good news, everyone!  I don’t have pink eye!!  I am, however, sporting about 10 new cuts and 2 new bruises thanks to yesterday’s tubing antics in Vang Vieng, Laos.  

When we got to Vang Vieng yesterday, we took the afternoon to get ourselves prepared for the following days tubing experience.  We found the start point for the next day, and purchased matching hot pink shirts to wear in addition to a waterproof satchel for our money and camera.  

When we woke up the next morning, the rain that I had heard pounding down all night still hadn’t let up.  Ugh.  My mind flashed back to last summer when I went tubing with a group of my softball teammates and it rained the whole time.  It hadn’t exactly been what I’d expected it to be then, and assumed that today would be similar. 

But then again, this wouldn’t be the same kind of tubing as last year... Last year was just what it sounded like - tubing. We sat in tubes as we floated down the river, accompanied by our coolers filled with food and drinks, and stopped only once to go off a rope swing on the side of the river.  The tubing in Laos is a different beast.  It really shouldn’t be called ‘tubing’ at all, because really all it ends up being is a bar crawl and you get from one bar to the next via a tube in the river.

Into the water!  Bar #1!

After I almost decided to ditch the tubing idea, my four other pink-clad ladies convinced me to come, and we set off down the road to get to the starting point.  We got there 15 minutes later, already soaked, paid our money, and got in the tuk tuk.  A few minutes later, we arrived at the river, were handed our tubes, and off we went.  

The first stop before we actually hit the water was, of course, a bar.  The word ‘bar’ should be used loosely, because really it was just a platform a story or so above the water, with stairs on one side to climb up, a water slide on the other to go down, a small bar with one bartender, and a plastic tarp above acting as a roof.  At least we’d be shielded from the rain.  

A sign telling you to drink BEFORE you jump.  Safety first!

As soon as the 5 of us ascended the stairs to Bar #1, an older Lao man walked up to us with a bottle of some unmarked Lao booze (whiskey?) and a shot glass and started to pour.  Next stop, the bar for a beer.  Everyone was just standing around, not really socializing outside of their group even though dance music was being blasted from the sound system.  Finally, people started to go down the water slide and within a few minutes, we were all in the water with our tubes headed down the river.

My first swing: note the pointed toes!

Bar #2: Slightly larger ‘bar’ with 6 large picnic tables under the ‘roof’ and a deck area with rugs where, if it were sunny out, would be a nice place to sit and chill.  Coming off of the edge of the deck was a huge crane with a trapeze swing that was being held by a guy in a huge tree next to the ‘bar.’  This time, we opted to share a ‘Lao bucket’ (no idea) and I announced that I would do the swing.  My pink ladies all commented that they wouldn’t do it as we watched guy after guy go off of it.  

10 minutes later, and half of a bucket down, I convinced one of my friends to do the swing with me.  We headed up the tree, climbing the completely unsafe and slanted stairs until we reached the top.  I gave advice that I thought sounded sage and watched Carola go before getting the swing into my hands.  I went right away, channeling my inner gymnast, pointed my feet, and jumped off of the platform.

Bar #2.

After Carola and were pulled in via an inner tube and had rejoined the group, 2 of the others decided they wanted to try it.  I went up with them and again gave my advice, this time knowing for sure it was way easier than it looked, and they both went off before I did my second swing.  

When we got back to the bar again, the crowd was pretty big and we all started mingling.  I ended up talking with 3 Green Berets who were vacationing from Okinowa for a while as backpackers who were working for working for various bars in town tied different strings and bandanas around our wrists, thus giving us entrance later.  Things got a little crazy.  A Green Beret went off the swing without clothes on, other people started getting daring by doing flips and hanging upside down, and next thing we knew, almost 3 hours had past.

Me and the Green Berets.

Bar #3: We skipped it.

Bar #4: Beer pong!  Having mastered this game before, I formed a team with a guy who had already been playing while a pink lady joined his friend.  We played a few games as one of the Green Berets stood by the side of the table yelling that I had “to represent!” while I played this American drinking game.  My team won. At some point when we were here, the rain finally let up.

Bar #5: We skipped that one too. We were running out of time.

Rocking at beer pong.

Bar #6: It was 5:45pm and our tubes were due back at 6pm... we were going to be late for sure, so there was no time for one last drink.  I didn’t need one anyway.  The last obstacle was a huge water slide that you went down with your tube, and we all climbed up the stairs to launch off.  I thought the slide would be fun, but once I flew off of the slide, the tube went flying out from under me and I smacked the water with the tube half under me and I thought my head had split into 384 pieces.  Ouch.

The 20 minute lazy tube ride down the river wasn’t as enjoyable as it should have been thanks to that last slide.  And getting out of the water wasn’t much better... It had been hard to gauge how fast the water was flowing, but as we came to the end point and put our feet down to stop ourselves, we felt the rocks slicing through our feet.  I got out of my tube, grabbing it with one arm and grabbing at the rocks with the other.  Finally, a fellow tuber who had already exited the water grabbed my hand and pulled me in.  

We all gathered together, comparing our new cuts and head off to hand in our tubes.  We lost part of our deposit because the tubes were brought it past 6pm, and we shrugged because taking our time had been worth it.

I found out today that there are people who stay in Vang Vieng and tube for multiple days in a row.  To these people I say: You must be alcoholics.  One day was enough for me, thank you.